NB: In these latter days, it has come to our attention that important editorial decisions about which band gets column space are made based on whether a band has provided a horizontal or vertical picture, to fit into remaining horizontal or vertical layout space. You may have noticed that our picture appears, at first glance, to be of the vertical variety. Please, however, note: if, in the week for which you are considering our story, you find yourself without vertical space, you can easily turn our picture horizontally, and caption it "Wallace Bros. in their grave." Many thanks.

THE WALLACE BROS RELEASE "POPULAR SONGS THAT WILL LIVE FOREVER" TO WORLDWIDE APPROBATION, MAYHEM

For immediate release---Monsoons. Shipwrecks. And the sudden death of one of America’s most beloved entertainers at their Detroit record-release party. 

These are only a few of the signs and wonders surrounding The Wallace Bros.’ first shot across the bow of the music industry: "Popular Songs That Will Live Forever, Volume 1: Lullabies," an agoraphobic, poorly-recorded 10-song effort, which clocks in at just over 26 minutes of off-center, melancholy pop, coupled with sharply-observed if sentimental lyrics, sung almost entirely outside both singers’ natural ranges.

The Wallace Bros., who have worked thus far in relative obscurity, found themselves thrust suddenly into the limelight due to the death of one of America’s most beloved entertainers at their record-release party. The entertainer, who hailed from Detroit but, like Eminem, Madonna, Kid Rock, and Aretha Franklin, had made a nationwide name for himself over the course of the last several decades, actually collapsed due to heart failure on the red carpet outside the party, and was rushed to Ford Hospital before even stepping inside the doors of the club. Today, it’s still not clear if he was aware who he would have seen on stage that night, had he survived.

"It would have been cool, right?" Mark Wallace said shortly after their release-party performance, which they carried on despite the incident, dedicating it as a tribute to the fallen star, who was pronounced dead shortly after midnight. "If he’d been in some boy band, or someone everyone hated anyway. Ironic, right? Like we struck a blow for punk-rock, or something. But we really liked him."

"Everybody did," Carey, his sister and second member of the duo, added. "I mean, he could do everything: sing, dance, play instruments. All this stuff we really can’t. It’s not fair, when you think about it, that we’re alive and he’s dead."

Still, crowd reaction was enthusiastic. "It’s Detroit," Mark explained later. "Nothing really fazes them."

Nationally and internationally, the critical reception has been strongly, even irrationally, positive as well. Japanese teenagers have added paper moon headgear and bracelet charms to their already exuberant accessorizations, and some Tokyo restaurants which cater to youth have even begun floating handmade paper swan boats in bowls of soup. Rolling Stone got in on the act with a Wallace Bros. fashion spread and interview, and the duo are negotiating terms for a judging spot on one of the popular later episodes of next fall’s third season of "American Idol."

Disaster always seems to follow close behind, though. Just days after their ill-fated record-release party, the "David James Ruffin," one of the most venerable of the Great Lakes freighters, which had weathered forty-five winters on the freshwater seas, sunk in the Detroit river, only a few hundred feet from safety. Found in the CD player in the doomed first mate’s quarters: "Popular Songs Which Will Live Forever, Volume One: Lullabies," a present from his girlfriend, a Wallace Bros. fan. The record had apparently been delivered by mailboat to him earlier that day.

The Thai monsoons of late May, the worst in recorded history, haven’t been definitively linked with the record release at the time of this writing, but the buzz from Internet conspiracy sites is already strong, and so far the band has issued no denials.

"We just wanted to make a record," Carey says. "Actually, Mark didn’t even want to, really. I kind of made him.

"And then it got out of hand."

The Wallace Bros:

The Rolling Stone Interview

RS: Well, you know the first question everyone wants to ask. 

MW: (looking pained.) Oh, man.

CW: We felt bad about it. We really did.

MW: Yeah. I mean, right there on the red carpet. 

CW: We had no idea something like that could happen. I mean, we’d never even played in public before. 

MW: We thought it’d be funny, you know? To have a record release party, where the band didn’t show? 

CW: Only we were going to be there, watching from backstage. We wanted to see how long it would take everyone to leave. Or maybe somebody else would just get up and play. 

RS: It’s been written that your highly-touted freshman album, "Popular Songs That Will Live Forever, Volume One: Lullabies" is so highly conceptual that you yourselves may not even become aware of the depth or extent of the entire concept, perhaps for years. 

CW: Yeah, but I think that’s true for everyone, don’t you? You really can’t help it. Everyone’s got so much, just kind of (pauses, glances out window) festering, you know? --inside them. How could you ever? You know? 

RS: I have to say I don’t see it, the complexity. To me, listening to it this week, a lot of the songs seemed like they were just about breaking up. All of them, really.

MW: Well, yeah. 

CW: And how much it sucks.

MW: That’s a lot to deal with in twenty-six minutes.

CW: Haven’t you ever broken up with anybody?

RS: I understand that distribution can be a real struggle, especially for an unknown band on an independent label.

CW: Well, we’ve pretty much solved that problem by not having any. You can’t actually buy a copy of "Popular Songs That Will Live Forever."

MW: Anywhere. Not even at Encore Records.

CW: Yeah, Fred probably would have taken some, since we dedicated it to him, but he went on tour again before I made it over there. 

MW: And we haven’t tried anywhere else. 

CW: So it hasn’t been a struggle, really. 

RS: It’s been noted that, since you two are brother and sister, you aren’t brothers, in the strictest sense of the word.

MW: Um, Carey doesn’t really like to talk about that. 

CW: No. 

RS: Your current album is titled "Volume One," which, obviously, suggests future plans. A "Volume Two?"

MW: Well, Carey gave me a Casiotone keyboard for my birthday. It’s got 12 different beats. More if you sample and cut and paste them, which is, as you know, pretty simple to do with a traditional 4-track tape recorder.

CW: The next album is going to be called "Popular Songs That Will Live Forever, Volume Two: Hip Hop."

MW: Right. Because now we have beats. The album cover is going to be sweet.

CW: Yeah, the label gave us eBay account and told us to order anything we want.

MW: Within our budget. 

CW: Yeah, they’ve got us on a budget now. 

MW: They give us money, and everything. But it’s not really the same, working for the man.

CW: But you’d understand that. 

RS: Yeah.